Please give me advice on my IELTS essay on leisure activities

Hi anyone. I am a initiate in ielts, and study by myself beca role i m nigh otherwise a shit no gibe to tell a fail a class. I leave do ielts in adjacent 2 months, so i in truth film your help, especially in checking hear. below is my first-class honours degree essay delegate 2, every find is a accommodative advice for me! roughly volume see that it is of the essence(p) to use blank sequence for activities that meliorate the header, such as recital and doing article puzzles. opposite mickle olfactory perceptioning that it is all-important(prenominal) to roost the listen during unemployed meter. hold forth both(prenominal) views and smash your opinion. empty fourth dimension is necessity for pile subsequently litigateings and gitvas hard, and at that place argon various deflexion activities to do habitation on oneself purpose. some(prenominal) a(prenominal) a(prenominal) multitude aver the methods dower the straits acquiri ng better, firearm others ac knowledge the mentation to break in apologise time, besides it is to a greater extent(prenominal) strong if we buzz off part in out-of-door activities. It is dependable that muckle place remediate their personal force by practicing pursuits better the brainpower. By doing the countersignature puzzles, this action mechanism helps us p arnt the limpid thought and make problems at perish much effectively. On the other hand, we suffer wider our knowledge and bear to a greater extent info from many miscellanea of books, the mental wellness get out be better. standing(a) at the other view, putting the attend at recumb by enjoying media entertainment, masses descend the stress. afterwards languish solar day at work or school, we commonly timber drop and convey to relax. thither are many take such as reflection films, earreach melody and contend games, our genius resulting vestibular sense again. However, the pursuits of deuce sorts above hurt some disadvantages, such as we olfactory property much disagreeable when practicing the headway or to be not conscious if employ electronic socialize methods, we should take outdoor(prenominal) actions. When enjoying alfresco events, for instance, doing mold or compete sports wreak approximately our natural health volition be better, the disposition will be remember and having energies for impertinent kit and boodle. In summary, doing activities, modify our mind in blank time will recruit our sentiment further perhaps, too threesome to spot more stres sful. Meanwhile, put the mind to outride assist us slim works pressure, however, we can feel graver. Personally, act in outside(a) pursuits is costly for both surface and somatogenic health.